Area5Xp

Please identify yourself

2008-04-10T21:10:05Z

If you can possibly identify this, please contact Security Services.

ThatIsAll^TM

April Fool's joke no more

2008-04-05T20:58:46Z

Anyone in the blogosphere knows the name ThinkGeek. The online retail outlet for just about anything a geek would want.....in their home, their cube, and to wear in order to demonstrate to the world your true geekdom status.

Well, this year ThinkGeek back on April 1^st they decided to list a wearable t-shirt that "would play sound effects or a short clip of various types of background music. All controlled via a remote you had in your pocket". Well, since SOOOOOO many people actually bought into the joke, TG is gonna do the right thing and ACTUALLY make the t-shirt.

Here's the TG response, in it's entirety:

Looks like we're the fools here. The Personal Soundtrack T-Shirt was originally an April Fool's Prank... but due to overwhelming positive response and hundreds of e-mails screaming to "make the damn shirt already" we're putting this item in to production ASAP. Keep in mind our army of robotic factory monkeys are a bit slow, and it might take them some time to make the real version of this nifty product. Also although we'll try to keep the Personal Soundtrack T-Shirt as close as possible to what you see here, the final version might deviate slightly in appearance, features or price. Capiche?

The guys in the R&D department are practically drooling over this prospect. Guess your General is going to have to get on the mailing list.

StandBy^TM

A Sci-Fi legend has...

2008-03-18T22:49:03Z

...passed into the etherium.

News has reached the base that Sci-Fi genius and legendary novelist Arthur C. Clarke has died, at the age of 90. This news will certainly cause fits for all Hal 9000 mainframe units, espectially those installed in interplanetary spacecraft designed primarily to remain within our Solar System.

Jim and Dave could not be reached for comment, but it was rumored that Clarke's last words were "My God, it's full of stars!"

We here at the base will certainly mourn this loss, and the Science section as well as the R&D folks have asked for a pass to attend the funeral in Sri Lanka. Given the current security status, they might have to settle for a CCTV feed.

ThatIsAll^TM

All you Prius freaks can well.....

2008-03-17T19:08:58Z

....suck it.

As this article from the Times Online shows, the Toyota Prius ain't all it's cracked up to be. Seems the Germans still have a couple of tricks up their sleeve. Then again, when you note that BMW already has a diesel engine in it's racing program for Formula Le Mans and the American SCCA series you get a good clue as to where the Germans are taking the technology from.

Here's the raw numbers from the test for the BMW:

Model BMW 520d SE
Engine 1995cc, four cylinders
Power 177bhp @ 4000rpm
Torque 258 lb ft @ 1750rpm
Transmission Six-speed manual
Official fuel/CO2 55.4mpg / 136g/km
Performance 0-62mph: 8.3sec
Top speed 144mph
Road tax band C (£115)
Price £27,190
Fuel used on test 10.84 gallons (50.3mpg)
Fuel cost £54.19 (diesel)

Here's the numbers for the Prius:

Model Toyota Prius T Spirit
Engine 1497cc, four cylinders
Electric motor 50kW/67bhp
Power 77bhp @ 5000rpm
Torque 295 lb ft (motor) 85 lb ft (engine)
Transmission CVT automatic
Official fuel/CO2 65.7mpg / 104g/km
Performance 0-62mph: 10.9sec
Top speed 106mph
Road tax band B (£15, alternative fuel)
Price £20,677
Fuel used on test 11.34 gallons (48.1mpg)
Fuel cost £54.64 (petrol)

As you can see, that's nearly a full 2MPG better for the BMW even though the BMW engine is almost 500cc larger. Sure, it's more expensive to buy than the Prius, but that less than £7,000 difference can easily be made up in fuel savings.

Suck it envirowhackos!!!!

She did what?????

2008-03-13T04:02:20Z

Someone please tell me that what I'm reading is true?

Cause I swear I'm suffering from a Fred Sanford-sized case of apoplexy!

Here's why.

D@mn, seeing that Breitbart is also reporting it here, it must have an ounce of truth.

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton did something Wednesday night that she almost never does. She apologized.

Someone go check the thermometer downstairs in Hell cause I'm betting they're having a good case of global COOLING on the magnitude of something Minot, North Dakota would only dream of wishing on a Cannuckian.

Anyone who has followed my husband's public life or my public life know very well where we have stood and what we have stood for and who we have stood with...

Wow, there are so many different places I can go with this quote isn't just too much for one person to imagine.

{cut to the General's office}

Lt. Kira Dhaxx (the General's executive Operations officer): General, the Weather Squadron has reported that Hell has officially frozen over........completely.

SGR: Yes, ell-tee I was just looking at that alert on my screen.

Lt. Dhaxx: Your orders sir?

SGR: Put in a call and see if they want any snow cone flavors shipped in....at a 500% mark up?

Lt. Dhaxx: Yes sir, that would be the Ferengi thing to do.

SGR: I realize that Leiutenant, but this is about making sure Hitlary gets a good dose of her own medicine. Has it been confirmed that Der Kaizer von Slickmeister was also part of the entourage?

Lt. Dhaxx: Not yet sir, but we have a satellite being diverted to get visual confirmation.

SGR: Let me know once the first data burst has been received.

Lt. Dhaxx: Yes, sir.

{exit stage left}

If only that was a reality.....there would be one SERIOUSLY large party at the Officer's Club let me tell ya!!!

Which of course means that a retraction will be coming from the Hitlary camp any time now..

StandBy^TM

What's the D.o.T. trying to hide???

2008-03-11T20:28:00Z

World Net Daily reports in an article from yesterday, that it's Senior Staff Writer Jerome Korsi was denied entrance to a supposedly public hearing concerning the Mexican truck issue.

WND and us both are asking, "What's the DoT trying to hide???"

In a phone call to the DOT public affairs office, the agency explained it was requiring "press credentials" for admittance, and no one without them was allowed to participate.
The news conference was only for "credentialed members of the media," spokesman Bill Moseley told WND. "There's a specific credential. He did not have a media credential."

Gosh, that sounds like the typical Inside-the-Beltway runaround if I ever saw it. I'm also guessing that since Jerome and WND have been reporting and critisizing the Mexican truck issue since finding out about the issue months ago. Especially considering the opinions expressed were critical of the Administration's choice to ALLOW unpassed safety inspection Mexican trucks onto US highways. That wouldn't have ANYTHING at all to do with the case would it????

And how can a reporter obtain such a credential providing permission to attend?
"I don't know," Moseley responded.

Ahhh, the lovely "IDK excuse"..... No surprises here.

Leslie Miller, the Teamsters communications coordinator, also was dismayed WND had been prevented from hearing the DOT press conference.
"It's an absolute outrage when the executive branch of the government tries to stifle free speech by selecting who it shares information with," Miller wrote WND in an e-mail.
"What are they afraid of? Are their arguments so weak they can only allow people they consider 'friendly' into their news conferences?" she asked.

Sure seems that way doesn't it Leslie?

Time to raise a ruckus and get the DoT to explain their actions. Somebody has got some 'splainin to do.

ThatIsAll^TM

You've been indicted

2008-03-10T18:50:25Z

He claimed he was going to end corruption in the New York state gubmint. He claimed he could continue that as Gubnir of New Yawrk.

Look like it's just desserts time there Eliot. You can forget that lead role in "The Untouchables II"

Check this out, it seems Mr. Anti-Corruption has been linked to a prostitution ring.

Watch here for more news as this develops further.

UPDATE (1420 hours): Changed the post title from "You're gonna be indicted" to "You've been indicted following this story on FOX News.

You've been hacked

2008-03-05T23:04:22Z

Ahhh, I bet you thought your Windows computer was safe from those meddling fingers by locking the desktop when you run to the water cooler, bathroom, or snack machine.

Think again!!

This article shows that doing just that is no longer a deterrent.

A security researcher has released an easy-to-use tool that accesses locked Windows computers in seconds without entering a password.
The tool, which was released Tuesday by Adam Boileau, works by connecting a Linux machine to the Firewire port of the target PC and modifying the password protection that's stored in local memory.

Well that's just the sort of news I needed to hear today......

Of course, the attack depends on having physical access to the targeted machine, and as most El Reg readers know, anyone who has physical control of the PC owns it. Then again, password protections have been a useful way to briefly secure a machine while a user runs to the bathroom. Until now. As Boileau's tool makes clear, such protections can be bypassed in a matter of seconds.

And that's supposed to reassure me??? Luckily though, all the computers in the Battle Staff War Room have the additional security layer which cannot be discussed in public. We could tell you, but then we'd have to send out those black, unmarked helicopters to "take care of things".

Guess the Tech Department is going to be busy for the next couple of weeks making sure the Firewire ports get locked out.

Dismissed^TM.

Conservative Champion has passed

2008-02-27T18:17:23Z

Conservative champion William F Buckley, Jr. passed away today. He was 82.

Buckley certainly deserves many accolades for bringing the conservative movement from grassroots to the White House and the National Review will loose a superior asset for how true conservatism should work.

May He rest in peace.

Dismissed^TM

China wants WHAT????

2008-02-21T19:21:40Z

Seems China wants the data from our little satellite shootdown last night. Beijing is apparently itching to get the data from the shootdown.

Here's our interpretation of what the JCS will recommend the State Department responds with:

Suck it you Communist wankers!

But hey, I might be speaking out of turn. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"China is continuously following closely the possible harm caused by the U.S. action to outer space security and relevant countries," spokesman Liu Jianchao said at a regularly scheduled news conference.
"China requests the U.S. ... provide to the international community necessary information and relevant data in a timely and prompt way," Liu said.

Ummm, can you also say "Hell no" resoundingly? We thought you could.

China's objections signal its skepticism over whether the satellite downing was truly necessary and unease over apparent U.S. mastery of a key military technology that Beijing is also pursuing. They also appear aimed at turning the tables on U.S. criticism of Beijing's own shootdown of a defunct Chinese satellite last year.

No. China objections to the shootdown really is that we beat them to the successful proof of concept and the real-world situational proof the system works. Do they REALLY think the world should bow to their Communist Overlords just because they're hosting the Olympics this year?

Hey Beijing, your policies on military superiority suck, your policies on treatment of your citizenry are total shiat, and.......NEENER NEENER NEENER, we beat you to the punch!!!

Better go back and re-read "The Art of War" one more time.

Oh nevermind, it won't help anyway.

Dismissed^TM

Say it ain't so Sam....

2008-02-19T23:53:17Z

OMG, it seems somebody has finally been bitten by the "obviousiti opportinus" bug over at the International Telecommunication Union. In an article from today from Breitbart, they finally get around to inferring that the cuts to the undersea cables providing Internet service to the mid-east

could have been an act of sabotage

NHO WHAI???!?!?!?!?!?

So this is where all of our U.N dues are going to.......

Considering that most of us had that figured out within 24 hours of each of the four incidents where ships COULD NOT have been involved, the fact that it took the ITU nearly a MONTH to disclose this little piece of "trivia".

Guess it's time to send out a Predator squadron to escort a "Clue Bus" over to the U.N building so those folks from the ITU can get on board.

StandBy^TM, cause I know Dismissed^TM ain't in order just yet for this one.

Daytona 500 Fiftieth Edition

2008-02-18T01:01:09Z

Well, we had hopes that Junior would sweep the races, but Ryan Newman and Kurt Busch and the Penske team had other ideas. They even stumped the voters on the poll too!

Oh well, there's always next week.

Dismissed^TM

This guy gets it!

2008-02-14T23:23:06Z

From the comic strip "Pluggers" for today.

USMC 2 -- Berserkely, CA 0

2008-02-13T16:09:59Z

Score ANOTHER one for the god guys!!!

Reports are coming in that the City Council over in Berserkely once again had their "attitudes" corrected and came to the conclusion that having a Marine Corp recruiting station in town is actually the right thing to do.

Councilwoman Linda Maio said the council opposes recruitment, not the military. "It's behavior that we oppose, not the people," she said.

And Linda, it's YOUR behavior that the entire clear thinking population of the United States who SUPPORT the troops and the war AND recruitment that will continue to VEHEMENTLY oppose and will do exactly what we've done in this instance. Maybe loosing a good chunk of federal funds from the city budget will CLUE YOU IN that your "behavior" is incorrect.

On Tuesday, more than 40 House Republican members asked President Bush to immediately rescind over $2 million in earmarks awarded to Berkeley.

Not good enough. And that money is just PORK anyway. Cut off ALL federal funds that are supposed to be directed to Berserkely (and Toledo, OH for that matter as well). Assinine decisions need to be corrected immediately (and brutally if the case requires it).

StandBy^TM cause this issue looks like it's going to continue.

UPDATE (1730 hrs): At least the Toledo mayor has the guts to admit it he screwed up.

It's not a good day when.....

2008-02-12T18:40:17Z

... this happens.

Better watch out next time you want to say "May God strike me with lightning if ...", cause God Listens.